I’ve been going back and forth on writing this post. It’s about an issue that effects me everyday and it’s changed my life. I have amazing readers and supporters, and in the end, I’m hoping someone can relate, or that I can let a sufferer know that they are not alone. I’ve written personal posts before, such as my chronic pain post, and the outpouring of support was incredible. I love all you guys! Anyways…
In August 2013 (August 3rd, to be exact) I became very ill. It literally happened over night, or at least I thought so at the time. I had just moved into my house with Matt a week prior and we were about to start our life together. Well, Matt was in California packing up some final things to bring to our new home in Arizona, and he rushed home when I called him for eight hours straight over night (his phone was on silent!).
I was at the doctor’s office three times that week. Severe abdominal pain, joint pain, weakness, fatigue, fever. It was bad. I couldn’t even get out of bed. After a few ideas of what my illness “could possibly be,” it ended up being diagnosed as an aggressive kidney infection. Okay – that explains this horrendous back pain at least…ouch. They shot me in the butt with some antibiotics and sent me on my way. A week later, I was in the hospital.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a horrible time in my life. I felt SO guilty that Matt and I were about to start this amazing journey then I get sick! What is that all about?! On top of that, my job didn’t want to offer me medical leave so they fired me. That was so nice of them…
The month of August felt like death to me. I spent a majority of it in bed. I was feeling bad for putting Matt through the process, and I was stressing out about losing my job. Since I was cooped up in the house with extreme pain, I put my time to good use and ended up finding a good work-at-home job. I was actually pretty excited. I always wanted to work from home, so this gave me a reason to really do it. And let’s face it – I HAD to do it. I had bills to pay but I could not physically function.
I started my new job on September 9, 2013. Much to my surprise, I really liked it (it wasn’t my typical line of work). I was working 40 hours a week but it was low stress and I could drink tea in my pajamas all day. Not to mention that fact that I could spend a lot more time with my animals.
It took about three months for me to start feeling good again, but I never fully regained my great health. I was always feeling tired. I was lacking energy and I would get fatigued so easily. My back was always hurting and I’d struggle to sleep at night. Something wasn’t right.
I’ll never forget telling my doctor “Ever since I got so sick, my health hasn’t been the same. Something isn’t right.” She ignored me. I moved on, thinking that perhaps I was still recovering. By December I went from working full time to part time but it was going well and I was still loving it. Since I was working less, I wanted a new hobby that I could enjoy in my free time. Dog Mom Days was born on December 19, 2013. What a great day 🙂
In January 2014, my company’s project was cancelled and I was laid off. I managed to get another work-at-home job as I continued to work on my blog and take advantage of my time at home. I was still feeling horrible a majority of my days, yet my doctor continued to ignore me.
Fast forward to November 2014. In 11 months, I had four very severe kidney infections that landed me in the hospital. Nausea, sometimes vomiting, excruciating pain, fever, weakness…the whole bit every single time I got an infection. The worst part? They’d last anywhere from 2-3 weeks. Every time I’d see a hospital doctor they’d tell me “It’s not normal for someone your age to be getting kidney infections like this!” Yes…I know.
By then I had adjusted to a life at home, and a life of feeling weak and tired everyday. It sunk me into a depression, thinking that “my doctor keeps telling me it’s nothing, so it must all be in my head.” My brother came home for Christmas (he’s serving in the US Army) and I went to visit him for his basic training graduation at Ft. Benning, GA in January of this year. When I returned home, my depression got worse. I cried everyday. I felt sick and I was hurting because I was missing my brother so badly. The physical and mental pain was extremely hard to deal with. (Below is a video of me greeting my brother in the airport on 12/19/14. I hadn’t seen him in several months).
I slowly crawled my way out of the deep, dark depression hole and I had a great next few months. Wonderful things happened with my blog, and I was nominated for 2015 BlogPaws Best New Pet Blog. I had several media honors and I was focusing all of my attention on my animals and my blog. It took my mind off my health, and it made me so incredibly happy.
In April I hit a road block again when I got my first kidney infection of the year. It was another really bad one, and I was in the hospital at 4:30am on a Saturday. It lasted a couple weeks but I felt pretty good when it came time to travel to Nashville for BlogPaws 2015.
In the meantime, I was physically hurting. My back was still killing me everyday and I was always fatigued. I do a really great job of hiding it, because I don’t want to be labeled by my illness and I felt that if I tried to act like I was okay, maybe I would feel good. That strategy has never worked.
This past June I got another kidney infection. Sigh. Luckily, however, I caught it early and went into Urgent Care when I felt kidney pain coming on. How sad is that?! I can differentiate between my daily back pain and my kidney infection back pain. Pretty ridiculous.
That day, I saw an osteopathic doctor, Dr. Randall. Osteopathic doctors specialize in diagnosing diseases and evaluating injury. Dr. Randall, although very stern and straight forward, changed my life. He’s been in practice for over 30 years and who knew his simple question “have you had your thyroid checked?” would change everything.
For two years I was seeking answers. Why was I feeling so crappy all the time? Why wasn’t my doctor listening to me and what could possibly be going on if all of my blood tests came back “normal?”
Three days after I had my thyroid tested at the local Urgent Care, I got the phone call about my results. “Your thyroid function is very poor and Dr. Randall thinks you need to get in for a thyroid ultrasound immediately.” Um….wow. Okay. What just happened?! Did one blood test really just give me all of the answers I need? I had a lot of research to do – I knew nothing about the thyroid.
The next morning I went in for my thyroid ultrasound and within days I got another phone call with results. The woman on the other end of the line explained that I have a cyst on the right lobe of my thyroid. You can imagine my disbelief. After I visited the doctor for a follow up on my tests and ultrasound, I was officially diagnosed with hypothyroidism and Hashimoto’s disease.
Although I was shocked, I was also relieved. I thought “Wow, it’s not all in my head. Something really is wrong.” Now I could get on the track to feeling better.
So here we are. It’s almost exactly two years after I became really sick and I finally have answers. That first severe kidney infection in August 2013 triggered something in me and I’ve never been the same. But you know what? That’s okay because at least now I have a plan!
I still have chronic back pain. I still feel weak and fatigued a majority of the time. I don’t sleep well and I lost 15lbs in a matter of 6 weeks this spring (which at 5’9 and 145lbs, is not normal. I’m down to 130lbs). I now have 3,486 doctors. Or so it seems. I’m seeing an endocrinologist, which is a thyroid specialist. She is going to determine whether or not my cyst needs to be removed, although right now it’s leaning toward surgery. I recently started on thyroid medication, which I was really excited about because I want to feel great again, but the medication made me even more sick. I also started seeing a urologist, and she thinks that my kidney infections are due to my poor thyroid function. It’s not normal for a 27 year old woman who’s never had kids to have this many infections, and to such severity.
Getting sick two years ago was a blessing and a curse. Yes I feel awful a lot of days, but it gave me the chance to pursue my dream of working from home. I was able to grow my blog and become somewhat successful with it. Now I can say I’m a full time pet blogger and stay at home dog mom! But in return I don’t feel well. I guess I can’t have my cake and eat it too.
The Arizona heat has been really hard on me this year. With my messed up thyroid, my body temperature is so out of whack. I’ve been doing as much I can with my dogs indoors. I can’t wait until the weather cools down so we can get back into agility and the outdoor activities we love. I haven’t given up the hobbies that I enjoy, but now I have to do them in moderation and really pay attention to my health. If I overdo it one day, I really pay for it the next.
I do my best to live a “normal” life. Some days it’s harder than others. I’ve had a really hard time facing the fact that I have a health condition that I will live with for the rest of my life. My doctor flat out looked me in the eye and said “There is no cure for this. You will have it for the rest of your life.”
This doesn’t mean I have to suffer and play the victim, though. I realize that there are things I can do to help myself feel better, alongside the thyroid medication I need to take. I’ve recently adopted a better diet for my blood type (which includes a lot of fish, plums, blueberries, Greek yogurt, etc.) I have also started making the transition into a gluten free lifestyle, which was a professional recommendation. At first I thought all of these changes were absurd, but it hasn’t been as difficult as I thought and I’m willing to do whatever I need it takes to feel great again.
I couldn’t do it without Matt. I still feel guilty at times for dragging him with me through all of this, but he’s been nothing but supportive. I try to maintain my independence, but it’s hard at times because I sometimes need help with physical house chores or I end up sick in the hospital. He tells me to rest, take care of myself and not overdo it, but I’m not a good listener. I think I’m still in denial that I do indeed have a health issue. I truly feel blessed to have a man in my life that just wants to make me happy and comfortable, no matter what our situation is.
I’m learning to adjust. It will be a process but I have a great support system and now I know what I need to do to live a healthier life. In the next 6 weeks, I have a lot of doctor’s appointments. Blood work, kidney ultrasound, urologist, endocrinologist, follow ups…but at the end of the day, I know I’m on the path to a healthier life despite this setback.
I’m going to be completely honest here though – if someone asked me “would you rather work your 9-5 job and be completely healthy or work from home and have some health issues?” I’d choose to work from home. I have the freedom to have lunch with my mom, spend time with my dad, travel, take naps and shop whenever I want! Although I’m never feeling like my health is at 100%, I do have some great days! This experience has really given me the opportunity to look at life differently and pursue my dreams, although it looks a bit different than I planned. I feel very blessed to be living the life I live, even if my thyroid is a bit down in the dumps 😉
Christina Berry | The Lazy Pit Bull says
Many years ago I worked for an endocrinologist, and we saw many patients with hypothyroidism. It can be a really difficult condition to manage, so my prayers are with you. Now that you know what you’re up against, I have no doubt you’ll whip its little behind and come out on top! <3
Amanda says
Thank you Christina! So far it’s been very difficult to manage, but I know I’m on the road to figuring out how to best live with my condition. I’m exploring all of my options so it doesn’t bring me down!
Cathy says
You aren’t alone. I have been living with a non-functioning thyroid for 25 years now. Meds do help but don’t get rid of all the symptoms. But at least I can function now.
Keep us updated.
Amanda says
Right now all I’m hoping for is something to manage my symptoms. Since the first medication I tried didn’t work, I know it’s going to be a process to find something that does work. I’d love to be able to function like a normal human being on a daily basis!
Kim says
Thanks for sharing your story. I have fibromyalgia and being chronically ill really stinks especially when it’s an “invisible” illness. May I ask what type of work from home work you were able to find? I’m always afraid it’s a scam. Again, thanks for sharing!
Amanda says
Thanks for reading Kim 🙂 When I worked for an actual company from home, I worked for APAC and Asurion. It’s definitely good to be weary of scams, but there are many legit companies that offer customer service and technical jobs. I found both on Career Builder!
Lauren Miller (ZoePhee) says
Oh no! I’m sorry you have been sick that sounds absolutely awful. I can totally relate to asking your doctor for help and having them ignore you. I’ve been suffering with chronic vertigo my entire life and I’ve tried to get help for it a bunch of times and my doctor ignored me and ignored me. It’s absolutely awful when the episodes hit me. Recently doing research, I found something called Meniere’s Disease and it totally fits with everything that has happened. I haven’t gotten it confirmed yet because we don’t have ins right now but I’m hoping we can get it soon because I really need to go in. I also suffer from chronic back pain (from years of grooming dogs.. I have nerve damage in my wrist from that, too), migraines and fatigue and sort of like you were saying it’s really easy to feel alone in it. I also feel very badly for putting extra work onto my husband.
Amanda says
I really feel for you Lauren. I didn’t have insurance for a bit also so I had to put off my health problems, which is very difficult. I sure hope you can figure out exactly what’s going on with you and start to get better. The chronic pain itself is horrendous, then when you put everything else on top of it, sometimes it’s hard to function as a normal human being. Praying that you find solutions soon!
Lauren Miller (ZoePhee) says
Thank you, Amanda! I hope so, too! I hope we both feel better soon!
Chelsea Price says
I hear you. I was diagnosed with an invisible illness a few years ago, after having been misdiagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, anxiety attacks, a heart murmur, and a thyroid issue. I wrote about it as well; my story sounds pretty darn similar to yours. http://happylittlebirds.blogspot.com/2013/11/but-you-dont-look-sick.html
I also had to go gluten free about a year and a half ago. It has SERIOUSLY helped me. I used to have “episodes” several times a week; since going gluten-free, I think I’ve had maybe 5 total. I definitely encourage you to try going totally GF and see if any of your symptoms improve. I was incredibly skeptical at first too, but it’s crazy how much it has helped. You can read my post about it; it might be helpful. And we can swap gluten-free recipes 😉 Thank you for sharing your story; I know it’s not easy.
http://happylittlebirds.blogspot.com/2014/03/my-month-of-gluten-free-living.html
Amanda says
Thanks for sharing Chelsea! I haven’t been able to go completely gluten free yet, but I’m definitely on my way. I’m willing to do anything I can to feel better though. I’m going to check out your posts right now 🙂
Kristen–well minded says
Thanks for sharing all of the details, Amanda. Although it’s not an ideal situation, you certainly seem to be making the best of it and living life to it’s fullest…appreciating what you DO have is so important. It’s good to know that you have a support system and that you are researching and making natural changes to help you feel better. Let me know if you ever need anything…you know I’m “right around the corner!”
P.S. The video of your brother coming home made me cry!
Amanda says
You rock Kristen <3 I'd definitely rather use natural solutions to feel better. I think it's all going to be trial and error. I spent 2 years figuring out what is wrong, so I don't mind taking extra time to find some healthy remedies!
P.S. - I cry every time I watch that video LOL!
Amy Palmer says
Thank you for being open about your invisible illness. Talking about them is the only way to get people to understand and erase the stigma. It sounds like you have a great support system and a positive outlook on life.
Amanda says
I sure do try my best Amy! Some days are harder than others, but I always manage to get through it. I’m hoping that by spreading awareness we can shed more light upon invisible illnesses 🙂
Laika says
I wish and hope your trouble with your illness will be better eventually. Prayers.
Cathy armato says
I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through such a difficult journey. Good health isn’t something we should take for granted. I’m glad you have a plan to deal with the problem. I hope you dumped the doctor who ignored you! How awful. Please put yourself first & take care of your health, let us know how it goes. Thanks to your brother for his military service!
Love & Biscuits
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Amanda says
Thank you Cathy! It’s been really tough, but I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process and I’ve really tried to make the best of it! It’s been difficult to put myself first and take care of my health, but I’m trying to become better at that. Matt always gets upset when I do too much around the house but I try to stay as active as I can!
Camille says
Amanda, I’m so sorry to hear about those years you felt so terrible and no one could help you figure out what was going on! How frustrating! 🙁 But you have such an incredibly positive attitude – I have no doubt that you’ll find the right combination of things that work for your body, and you’ll be able to manage this condition successfully!
If you don’t mind me saying, I would really encourage making the leap to going totally gluten-free. Even just a little gluten in the diet of someone who is gluten-sensitive can wreak havoc on your body! After years of crushing headaches and really scary GI symptoms (during an episode, my stomach would swell from relatively flat to looking like I was 8 months pregnant within a span of 2 hours, and the pain was debilitating), I went totally gluten-free 3 years ago and it changed my whole life. No more symptoms, after just a few weeks! We’re pretty lucky here in Phoenix to have several good gluten-free bakeries (after searching high and low, I finally found one that makes the best GF bread EVER), and nowadays it’s really not too hard to find great GF options. Just a thought! 🙂 Please let me know if you’d like me to email you my list of GF vendors and restaurants here in town, I’d be happy to! And all the best as you fine-tune your health plan, sounds like you’re off to a great start. 🙂 ~Camille
Amanda says
Thanks so much Camille! I would LOVE a list of the GF vendors/restaurants/bakeries. I definitely want to try to go completely gluten free. I don’t think I can go completely GF right away, or I will get discouraged and want junk food. So a little at a time seems to be working. But it would be really helpful to know places that offer gluten free options 🙂 Thank you in advance!
Jessica @ YouDidWhatWithYourWeiner says
I’m sorry that you’re having so much trouble with your health and I’m glad you shared with us. My mom had a major thyroid condition that is now believed to have been Hashimoto’s. A couple of years ago I was seeing a naturopath because I was feeling very fatigued and sick for no reason and she tested my thyroid. I have borderline Hashimotos myself. Mine doesn’t affect me nearly as severely as yours has but there’s not many days where I feel 100%. I know what it’s like to feel crappy most of the time 🙁 Hang in there. Once you get this stuff straightened out, it might become less severe and easier to manage.
Amanda says
I had no idea that you have something similar! It’s always nice to be able to relate to others. I recently started taking Vitamin D supplements because my endocrinologist told me that my levels were “dangerously low.” It has actually made me feel better! Now I’m having more good days than bad, it seems. But my biggest struggle is feeling tired and the pain. Luckily I feel like I’m making progress, even if it’s slow!
Kiersten says
Wow! So, a little too much in common here but a little backwards. I thought I’d share with you. I’ll summarize: 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Graves Disease which landed me in Hyperthyroid. I’ve had so many issues since and I have dealt with heart rates up to 120 or more resting (still struggling here sometimes) as well as PID infections, bodt just failing and it’s always been crazy. I always joke and say well my immunity hates myself.
This past year I seem to dealing with something in my kidneys… Odd that you said that. Without getting to TMI there’s been trace or small amounts of blood in all testing for a year. Just did a CT scan a week ago…
Flash forward: March 18 2016 – I was give Radioactive Idoine treatment. 7 days away from my fur babies and my spouse. I don’t know if I missed him or the dogs more. No, I know it was the dogs. 🙂 But anyways I just did my bloodwork and was diagnosed Hypo yesterday. I am going to now be starting this journey of hypo. I’ll always have Graves but hopefully with my urologist, cardiologist and endocrinology team 2017 will be a better year!
I started Pippin Tails 2 weeks ago as I’ve been feeling like I needed some motivation to keep me going. That makes sense now being hypo! Maybe being hypo is the key to a good dog blog!!! 🙂
I was reading your blog, stumbled upon this post, read it and just couldn’t believe it. Like wow. Too much in common I could have written 10 pages here. Hospital visits, feeling like I’m crazy, “ruining” good weekends or nights because doctors and overall just awful. I’m hoping it’s going to turn up from here but, I’d love to connect with someone else on this journey too.
Amanda says
Well, it’s sad that we have to connect because of illness, but it’s a blessing in disguise! I really don’t think I’d be a full time blogger if it weren’t for my diagnosis. I’ve been feeling good for about 8 months after the diagnosis (and 2 years of battling it). I haven’t had a kidney infection in a year (BIG yay!!!). I still have occassional hypothyroid flare ups. I won’t feel well for a couple days at a time. But it’s nothing compared to what it used to be.
I relate to absolutely everything you’ve been going through. I never thought I’d get answers as to why I was feeling absolutely horrible everyday of my life. All it took was one doctor to turn it around. I wish my health was normal but at least I’m feeling better than I used to! And like I said, it’s actually been a blessing. I was forced to start working from home and that’s when I started my blog. I couldn’t physically work anymore so I needed a hobby in addition to my work at home job. I never thought my blog would turn into a full time job!
I’m SUPER glad you came across my blog post! Having people who understand what you’re going through makes a big difference. And now we can be blog friends! How wonderful 🙂