For months I’ve been wanting to add a fourth dog to our family. Twice I’ve found an American Staffordshire Terrier mix that I wanted to adopt but the same question came up both times: “Do you know if she’s good with cats?” This is what I would ask the shelter volunteers because after all, I have two kitties. And not only that, but my tabby cat Joey is disabled. Although I was heartbroken because I wanted these dogs, I wasn’t willing to risk Joey’s safety. So what happened when I found a fourth small dog to adopt? I risked Joey’s safety.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to rescue a deaf or blind dog. I wanted to give a great life to a dog that was perhaps “less adoptable.” The situation never really presented itself until my dear friend Christina of Deaf Dogs Rock showed me a photo of an adorable deaf Chihuahua puppy that needed adopting. She was simply wanting me to share the photo. However, when I laid eyes on his Facebook photo, my heart melted. I wanted him, and I wanted him badly.
After some back and forth with Christina, I met up with the dog’s current foster mom, Nicole. The puppy, named Bayo, is 4-6 months old. He is in good health aside from being partially to fully deaf. This was the perfect opportunity for me. He’s small, precious and still a puppy so I could really take time to train him and acclimate him. Or so I thought.
When I arrived at Nicole’s house just 24 hours after seeing Bayo’s initial picture I walked in the door and Bayo immediately took to me. I held him in my arms and he just wanted to lick my face nonstop. He seemed loving and well-behaved. Bayo did well with Nicole’s kids and big dogs so I figured I had nothing to worry about, right? Wrong.
When I got Bayo home, I introduced him to Wynston in the backyard. Bayo was happy to run around but he quickly turned his attention to Wynston. Well, Wyn was not having any of that. Bayo is a puppy, he has sharp puppy teeth and he’s full of puppy energy. Wynston does not appreciate dogs that are in his face and this little puppy was trying to eat Wynston’s face. Strike one.
Then we introduced Bayo to Khloee. Khloee is extremely laid back and doesn’t really care about anything except the Universe itself…until Bayo came along. He was jumping all over Khloee, trying to get her to play but she wanted nothing to do with it. Khloee growled and snapped but Bayo didn’t seem to care. Strike two.
Meanwhile, McKenzie Rae is barking incessantly from behind the french doors because she wants in on the action! While McKenzie Rae is playful, she still has some aggression issues we’re working on. Just like Wyn, McKenzie Rae did not like Bayo in her face. Matt and I sat with them on the floor to ease the intro. After about five minutes of us holding the dogs and letting them nicely sniff, McKenzie got over it. Alright, well, that’s a start.
After the initial dog-on-dog meetings, all hell broke loose. Bayo wouldn’t stop running and jumping around which is 100% fine…I mean, he is a puppy. However, he started terrorizing my dogs. He would lunge at them, bare his teeth and try to bite them. I know what puppy behavior looks like, and this was NOT it. I went to pick his little 5lb body up but when I did so, he attacked my arm. Ouch. Then Sadie, my calico cat, came out from the den area and he went full speed after her. Now I’m thinking, “Well shit. What did I do?”
I decided it’d be best to separate Bayo and give him some time to cool down and get used to the sights and smells. I put him in a lit room with a baby gate so he could see all of the action. Then I heard a noise that I’ve never heard from a dog before. It was an extremely loud, screeching scream. Not only was it terribly ear piercing but we have wood floors throughout our house so the echo made it 10 times worse. I took him out of the room and decided to sit on the floor and put him in a crate. I figured I’d give him treats and positively reinforce him being quiet in the crate. It worked until I got up and walked two feet away. The screams started again.
When Bayo got quiet, I let him out. I didn’t know what to do. Then, the worst part happens. Joey starts walking out of the guest bedroom and Bayo lunged in and began to attack him. I was at a loss. He’s terrorizing my dogs and he just attacked my DISABLED cat.
I was so exhausted from our road trip back from California and Matt was starting a new job the next morning, so we headed for bed around 10. I decided it was best to just separate him in a crate for the night because he was exhibiting some absolutely crazy and aggressive behavior. Bayo screamed…all. night.
I got maybe two hours of sleep. I tried to let him out a couple of times to go potty but each time he wanted to attack my dogs and/or cats. Originally I thought he was just being a playful puppy but I finally admitted to myself that this behavior wasn’t normal. I put Bayo back into the crate and let him scream himself to sleep. I didn’t know what else to do.
The morning came and Matt was getting ready to head to work. I took Bayo out potty and gave all of my dogs a dental chew. This was the only moment that I had a glimmer of hope – Bayo laid down on the rug next to my other dogs and quietly enjoyed his chew. But afterwards, hell broke loose again. My dogs seemed scared and and irritated while Joey hid in the closet and Sadie wouldn’t come down from the bathroom counter.
I told Matt that I didn’t think this was going to work. I’ve never been in this situation and I feel like a failure but I have got to think about my five animal’s happiness and safety first. It’s not fair to compromise their mental and physical well-being for this little puppy.
After talking it over with Christina, she helped me decide that it just wasn’t the right match. Bayo had done fine at Nicole’s house with her kids and big dogs, so maybe that’s the type of household he needs. Oh, and one without cats.
What I learned from this failed dog adoption:
- There’s a difference between an obnoxious puppy and an aggressive puppy. I’ve been in animal rescue for nine years and have trained with many puppies. I know the difference.
- I have no issues training a crazy puppy but I cannot do so when my other animals are at risk and when I have 1,000 other things going on.
- It’s really great to work with a rescue or foster and do a trial night just in case it doesn’t work, like this time.
- You have to put your current animals first before anything.
- Could I have trained Bayo and been successful? Probably. Did I know for sure? Absolutely not. Better to figure it out now than six months from now.
- Sometimes you have to realize that your situation is perfect the way it is. It wasn’t time to disturb the peace.
- As hard as it is to admit that the trial didn’t work out, you also have to do what’s best for the puppy. Bayo seemed happier at Nicole’s house.
- Just because a dog is super adorable doesn’t mean it’s going to be a good match.
I know that Nicole has a possible adopter lined up but she also told me that if it didn’t work out, she’d keep Bayo. I sure hope that she does. Bayo seemed to do well in that house and Nicole is an absolutely wonderful person. She was eager to learn about deaf dogs and had already been talking with Christina about neutering and training.
I admit it. This fourth dog adoption didn’t work out. Do I feel like a failure? Yes. Do I feel terrible? Yes. But, I don’t care what other people think. I did what was best for MY animals AND for Bayo. Nicole lives only 15 minutes from me so I can still check in on the little man and help out any way I can! Bayo will be a fantastic dog in the right environment. I hope Nicole keeps him so I can watch him grow and develop!
Lindsay Pevny says
Aw, it’s good that you didn’t put your animals through that for too long. They look so relieved! I wonder if your fourth, if that ends up happening someday, would be better off with an adult.
Amanda says
I’ve said for a long time that “I’ll never adopt a puppy again.” I guess I better stick to that!
Tiffany's Diamond Dogs says
I know personally that three dogs is my max. I couldn’t imagine trying to do individual time and activities with all of them in addition to group time. And petting everyone can be tough since there are three and I only have two hands. Sounds like Bayo hadn’t met small dogs or cats before…You did what was best for Bayo and what was best for you.
Amanda says
Now I know I’m maxed out at three. Things are perfect and they will stay that way for a while!
mommakatandherbearcat says
This takes a lot of courage to admit! I admire you for sharing the story. I fell in love with a homeless kitten who’d ignore the food I gave him for as long as I sat outside and pet him. But I had a 15 year old cat that had never shared with another cat. I agonized and finally brought Bear inside (first making sure he was free of anything that could get Kitty sick; and closely following all advice on introducing a new cat including keeping them separate for awhile). It was a pretty big disaster – constant confrontations and lots of stress for everyone. It was odd, because outside, Bear hid from the other cats, but all of a sudden, he was always the aggressor. We hadn’t been living there long so I didn’t know anyone else to take him and I felt horrible putting him back on the street. I kept him, but I’ve always wondered if he was the reason Kitty died 6 months later. Yes, she was almost 16 by then – and had several health problems that’d plagued her for years. Maybe she’d even been hanging on and fighting to live for so long because she knew I needed her and she finally let go when she saw I had Bear. But there’s always a nagging at the back of my head that he was the reason she died when she did and that if I hadn’t brought him inside, she would’ve lived longer. I don’t regret adopting Bear, but I also feel badly and wonder if I made a mistake. And that was 10 years ago. I’m so glad you could tell the difference between normal and abnormal and had the courage to do the best for everyone 🙂 It’s so hard to admit defeat and struggle with the “what-ifs” regardless of the decision we make. Thank you for sharing.
Amanda says
Your story gave me chills. I know that guilt you’re feeling. I still feel it because my cat Edison ran away 3 years ago. It’s horrible to hang onto. However, it sounds like Kitty lived a long, happy life. You have to give yourself credit for that. Trust me, I know how hard it is! A lot of people don’t understand what pet parents and animal lovers go through when we have to make these decisions. It’s agonizing. Thank YOU for sharing <3
Jen Gabbard says
It’s important to realize that not all things work out, and as you say it’s much better to make that tough call now than it would be in another 6 months. Could it have worked out? Possibly, but just imagine the stress of not feeling comfortable leaving your pets alone. I know some people do the crate & rotate routine, but that’s just a level of stress I wouldn’t want to go through. I admire you for making a tough decision and making the call that’s best for your current pets. Even though it didn’t work at your house it sounds like he’s in good hands.
Amanda says
You’re exactly right Jen. I cannot handle the stress right now after just buying a house and now having to finish planning my wedding in the next 5 months. I hate to say it, but I had a huge sense of relief when I dropped Bayo off with Nicole. He’s in good hands so I know I don’t have anything to worry about in terms of his well-being.
Liz says
Hi Amanda!
Thank you so much for writing that article/blog on your fourth adoption fail. You must have a very patient husband :-)… it really resonated with me because my fiancé and I thought we were so ready to adopt a second dog, but gosh we’re we mistaken! I have a special needs chihuahua, that happens to look just like Wynston (picture below), but a few years ago I lost a Shepherd mix who was also the best dog ever. In my journey to cope and find a “replacement” we ended adopting a beautiful German Shepherd from a no-kill shelter.
The first sign was her barking at me out of no where after our introduction and adoption as we tried to get her in our car, she then seemed disconnected and more interested in dogs than people. She wasn’t necessarily aggressive mainly just anxious and very skittish, Lola was in shock she was so afraid of her wanting to play rough with her that we grew more concerned about her safety. Lola is 14, myopic, slightly deaf, and had a back injury. In retrospect, we should’ve known that a 60lbs dog was way too much dog for her and us. Needless to say, we had to return her to the shelter (she also had a foster family) after 4 days. We really tried but it was super stressful worrying about Lola and Rona (that’s what we tried naming her), my fiancé and I were both starting new jobs and kind of like you with 1000 things to do that we made the selfish decision to return her.
I was feeling really guilty and depressed about the whole thing. Not to mention the people that judged me and almost shamed me about the decision to return her (sadly they were the same dog rescue that I was trying to volunteer with). I read your article and it speaks volumes as to the struggle of having to deal with pets that are simply too much to handle too soon. It made both my fiancé and I feel so much better! Thank you for sharing your story!
Emma says
A very instructive story. Yes, we must carefully look at our pets and take into account their interests.