In the world we live in, a lot of people around me are getting married, having kids or both. While Matt and I are set to get married on 12/29/16, I’m completely uninterested in the kid part. I don’t care about pregnancy photos that I see all over Facebook and when I see a baby or small child, I definitely don’t gravitate toward it. In fact, I will run the other way.
It’s funny because most of my friends are dog moms. We have all opted for a similar lifestyle – a spouse and animals. I met most of them through agility or animal acting, and I feel so blessed to have many female friends in their late 20s, early 30s who understand why I’ve made the choices I have. We never question each other.
Let’s be real – I’m selfish and I admit it. But wait, is wanting a nice retirement fund and not having to worry about my kid hating me for 18 years being selfish?! Just sayin’, I like having a large savings account.
Matt and I get up and go whenever we want. We travel to California frequently, and on a whim we can decide to take a trip or go on a date without worrying about a baby sitter. We always have time for each other and to work on our relationship. I love enjoying life with him…and our dogs.
A lot of people have argued that “women were put on this earth to reproduce. It’s a woman’s duty to have children.” I’m sorry but this is the 21st century. Actually, I’m not sorry. As a strong independent woman with rights, I know that I was NOT put on this earth for childbearing. I am a believer in God and a spiritual woman and I know that my duty in this lifetime is to save the lives of innocent animals and speak for those who don’t have a voice. I’m glad that I can make the CHOICE to not have human children.
I’m still a mom, however. I have 5 kids. They just happen to have paws. They depend on me for food, health care, mental and physical exercise, love, happiness…all those things that human children need, but without the braces or car. Animals won’t scream at you or beg you for those shoes that they just HAVE TO HAVE. They won’t tell me I’m a horrible mother or slam the door in my face. In fact, my animals will love and appreciate me unconditionally until the day they pass on. And that means more to me than anything.
My dad will argue that I need to have children so they can carry on my legacy. In 2013 he took my brother and I to Hawaii. It was an amazing trip and we got to visit Pearl Harbor which was a really big deal for me because I’m a history fiend. So one day my dad says to me “You have to have kids so you can take them places like Pearl Harbor and say ‘Look! There’s Pearl Harbor!’ You can’t do that with dogs!” Uhhh…yes I can. I was 24 when I visited Pearl Harbor so I appreciated every second of it. Kids don’t flippin’ care. I could take Wynston to Pearl Harbor and he’d be thrilled! Why? Because he’s happy wherever he’s with me. When I watched Wyn take his first steps on the beach in sand, I took videos and photos just as a human mom would. I still get to enjoy all of those moments – and for each one, I know my dogs will be happy.
My mom, on the other hand, came the realization a long time ago that I won’t have kids. Honestly, she really appreciates it. She told me one day that people ask her if she wants grandchildren – her reply is something along the lines of “No, not really. I’m happy with the way everything is now.” Mom, you rock. Thanks for not pressuring me into have baby humans, and for treating my dogs like they are your grandchildren. Because, well, they are!
I hate when people ask me “When are you going to have kids?!” It really irritates me. All I say is “never.” Typically they don’t ask anymore questions. But the worst is when people say “OMG you will change your mind!!!!!!” That’s so rude. Don’t presume to tell me what I will and will not do.
Every woman has the right to make a choice on whether they want to have children or not. We don’t have to get married, have 5 kids and be a housewife. We can be whatever we want to be. Me? I’m a pet blogger and a dog mom. I’m a girlfriend, daughter, friend, sibling, neighbor…the list goes on. Why judge me on my decision to have human children?
So when people ask me “so do you have any kids?” I reply with “Yes I do! Five actually!” Then they look at me like I’m nuts until I follow up with “…but they all have paws!” They REALLY look at me like I’m nuts after that. And guess what? I don’t feel guilty about being the prime age to have children and not wanting them. It’s my God given right and I’m going to live it up.