Dog moms and dads can relate: you’re on a walk with your pup and you say something to yourself or to your pup that would sound completely outlandish to a passerby. You stop and chuckle, realizing that you are that pet parent. I’m very mindful when I say or think “crazy dog mom” thoughts, and I’ve compiled a list for you. So here are funny things that I say to myself as a dog mom. Then tell me at the end if you can relate, and what funny things you say!
Funny Things Dog Moms Say
“What did I feed him to make his poop that color?”
“Come here so I can sniff your Frito paws.”
“Thank you for not eating that pile of rice that was spilled on the ground outside!”
“I appreciate you not pooping in the house.”
“I love when your tummy smells like corn.”
“Can you not hump the cat, please?”
“Oh my goodness! You pooped TWO times! Good boy!”
“You know I was sitting there right? It’s okay, you look super cute. I’ll just sit on the floor”
As Wynston is barking at dogs playing: “Don’t be a fun ruiner!”
“Um, did you just leave the bed to pee in the house?”
“Let me kiss that tiny snout.”
“Why do you like to poop IN the bush?”
“It’s okay, you’ve protected the house from the leaf. Thank you.”
“Stop licking my pillow!”
“At least buy him dinner first.” (as the dog tries to hump the male cat)
“This has to be the nearly perfect poop. Great job!”
“No you can’t have a treat ’cause you’re fat!”
“Please don’t pee on the plants.”
“Don’t pee on your sister.”
“Make good choices!”
“Please stop eating dirt. No, I didn’t say eat different dirt. I said stop eating dirt.”
“Stop poking me in the butt with your nose!”
“Please stop trying to eat my underwear.”
Me at the pet store – “Do you have any peanut butter or chicken flavored toothpaste?”
“Really, you’re going to drag him (stuffed animal) out here to hump him in front of everyone?!”
“He/she gets to exist, too!”
“You don’t get to eat the kitty…”
“Don’t sit on your brother’s face!”
“Could you at least wait fives minutes until I’ve been out of the shower before you start licking me?”
“Get your butt out of my face. You’re gonna give me pink eye!”
“It’s so cute when you snore! *Looks at your significant other* STOP SNORING!”
“Of course I’ll share my snacks with you! *Looks at significant other* GET YOUR OWN!”
“How many times are you gonna sniff that same spot?”
“You don’t have any pee left for that bush!”
“I know I smell like another dog, but you’re so much cuter than them. Please forgive me.”
“Don’t look at me with those eyes…”
“Don’t eat that! You just ate that…”
🙂
I enlisted the help of some dog mom and dad friends to compile this fun list! Thanks to Ryan J., Abby C., Andria C., Caitlin T., Laura H., Katie P., Lucia W., Tami G., Denise G., Terry K. and Brian B.
What funny sayings would you add to this list?!
Leave a Reply