Stop asking me how old my dog is.
Stop asking me how old my dog is because our perceptions may be different. What’s “old” to you may not be the same for me.
Stop asking me how old my dog is because honestly, as he gets older, I don’t want to think about it.
Stop Asking Me How Old My Dog Is
I’ve sat in tears before, thinking about the fact that Wynston is going on 8 years old this year. For a Great Dane, 8 years old means they are one foot out the door. For a Chihuahua, it means he’d middle-aged, and could have another decade of life left.
So stop asking me hold old my dog is.
Chihuahuas can live up to 20 years of age. The smaller the breed, the longer they live (typically). But Wynston’s at that age where strangers give me the whole “awwwwww” or “oh, he’s an older guy!” No, he’s not. According to YOUR standards or YOUR experience he may seem old. But he’s not. He’s ONLY 8.
Stop asking strangers how old their dogs are if you suspect they are over a few years of age. Recently I saw a beautiful Great Dane when Wynston and I were eating breakfast. (This Dane was clearly not a youngin). A lady asked the dog’s dad, “How old is he?” He replied with, “He’s 7.” The lady’s face immediately changed. It was almost a look of sadness, as if she figured that dog was on his death bed. “Awwwww,” she whispered, as the owner took the dog and turned around. My heart sank for him.
Okay, it can be a conversation starter. I get it. We even ask human parents the same question about their baby, “How old is he/she?” It’s ingrained into our heads. But honestly, it can be a hurtful question. Dog parents don’t want to be reminded that our animals are getting older, no matter how old they currently are. We’re fully aware that they won’t be around forever.
When you ask me how old Wynston is, I become very mindful. I reflect back on the last 7.5 years. I think about all of the amazing things we’ve done. And for a second, I get sad. Yes, he’s getting older. But don’t freaking remind me. We have a lot of life plans left to live out.
So let’s brainstorm. What are some other conversation starters that we can use when talking to someone new about their dog? Here’s a list of ideas (and give me some in the comments that I can add to the list):
General Questions
“Tell me more about him/her!”
“What is their name, and how did you choose it?”
“Does he/she have a favorite toy or game?”
“What sort of activities does your dog like to do?”
“What is their adoption/rescue story?”
“Do you two have plans for the weekend?”
Weather or Outdoor Related
“Does he/she like this kind of weather?”
“What fun outdoor things do you do together?”
“Do you have any favorite outdoor spots you enjoy visiting?”
“Have you visited XYZ dog-friendly place?”
Now, if someone clearly has a small puppy, bringing up age isn’t a big deal. People get excited that they have young puppies. But if it’s an adult, and you aren’t sure, please don’t ask. It can bring up really difficult feelings and emotions.
I know harm is not meant when someone asks how old Wynston is. It’s just a basic, simple question that we’ve learned to ask people, whether we have a human kid or fur kid. But it’s kinda like the question, “What do you do for a living?” I’ve started asking people, “What do you do for fun?” Work with me to start asking questions that perpetuate love, happiness and a sense of joy.
I task you with this: next time you meet someone new with a dog, be mindful. Don’t ask them how old their dog is. Simply ask them the dog’s name or ask them to tell you more about their furry friend. It’s time to start a more joyous conversation.
What are some other conversation starters we can add to the list?
speedyrabbit says
Yep we know our fur babies are getting older and we know realistically how much longer we have with them so year the age question is not so nice to deal with.Speedy is 7 and a half years old and being a rabbit he is getting on in years.I know that if we are lucky we could have another couple of years with him or may be more if we are really lucky but realistically the truth is we may lose him at any time….my first rabbit passed at 6 and a half but he had health problems and was having seizures,My last rabbit was 8 and a half when he passed but again the last 2 years of his life he had health problems.With Speedy we have been lucky he hasn’t had any major health problem apart from the glaucoma he was born with that meant having his eye removed at 2 and a lump he had removed last year and an ear infection and none of these were major health problems that affected him physically all they did was cause a little discomfort but once treated its over and done with.Speedy only has one thing that is now starting to affect him…he has the beginnings of arthritis which comes with age.he’s a little stiff and sore when he sleeps for any length of time so when he first wakes up it affects him then and we have made adjustments for that to make it easier for him and now that is not an issue any more.I get asked how old he is all the time and everyone says the same thing “oh he’s quite old for a rabbit” .Rabbits can live between 8 to 12 years on average with the giant breeds up to 7, but I know of some rabbit living to 18 or even 20 years old.they are all different and its the same with all pets whether they are a dog,a cat, a rabbit or something else.No 2 animals are the same even if they are the same breed.Winston is 8 years young,he is still relatively a young man and you both have many years together ahead of you both…pay no attention to daft questions on age and keep on adventuring together we all love it!xx Rachel and Speedy
Eliza says
Yes! Thank you for saying it! I’ve also had “how long do they live?” Which really rubs me the wrong way!
Amanda says
That question is just borderline offensive. Like “let me just remind you that your dogs won’t live a very long time.” UGH!
Eliza says
I know! I try to be patient with people, but…there is a limit!
Lauren Miller says
I am totally with you on this one. People comment a lot on how grey Zoe has gotten and ask how old she is. It’s devastating every single time. Can we not!? She’s definitely the oldest and she has been acting like an old dog for some time now. It’s depressing and makes me incredibly sad. I know it’s not to be intentionally hurtful or cruel but I wish people would think before they ask.
Amanda says
Ugh. It’s difficult because, like you said, it’s not meant to be hurtful. But yeah – people need to think before they speak. Basic human concept that has become so difficult for some.
Peter says
Thank you for writing this. It really annoys me when people ask this question. I want to ask them, “why do you care? Are you doing a research project on dog ages?” It’s a really stupid and pointless question that does nothing but make the dog owner uncomfortable. I had to stop myself from saying this to a young couple in the park last weekend.
SJB says
My latest response is… “he identifies as a 5 year old”. 5 is a good age to draw no judgement or strange comments about how long dogs live.
Amanda says
Ahahaha I love that response!